


Time Qualifies the Spark

by Straight_Outta_Hobbiton



Category: Bleach
Genre: Aromantic Relationship, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Movie Nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-08-09 03:15:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7784503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Straight_Outta_Hobbiton/pseuds/Straight_Outta_Hobbiton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ichigo and Tatsuki are the ultimate bros who ultimately get accidentally engaged.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The bro-est of bros to ever bro are playing house and no one is surprised.

 

Their birthdays are a day and change apart and they have common ground in music, reading, and television. She’d kick his ass in the dojo, and he’d kick her ass in Mortal Kombat after. Their relationship, until they’re about twelve, is based on the mutual understanding that one day, they’ll rule Karakura.

Then, Ichigo finally wins a match against her in the dojo, and the mutual understanding is changed. Together, they could rule the world.

Not that either of them want to, of course. Ichigo would rather bury himself in a book than a political campaign, and Tatsuki’s always preferred teaching to fascism, but it’s fun to talk about when Ichigo spends the night on his half of her bed watching grainy, pirated footage of whatever flavor of the week television show he’s found for them to watch into the wee hours of the morning.

(Their English is _stellar_ , by the way, thanks to Ichigo’s preference for Western garbage.)

Tatsuki doesn’t realize that Ichigo’s moved in until about six months of rent money magically appearing on the table and homemade breakfasts wake up to later. She doesn’t really say anything, just arches an eyebrow at him when he steps out of the bathroom in boxers and nothing else.

He arches an eyebrow back, smug.

She smacks his shoulder.

"Shut up, I’m used to having you around," she says.

"'Course," Ichigo says agreeably. "I always spent so many nights here anyway I just figured—"

"Yeah."

"Exactly." He leans against the doorframe. "So, movie night?"

"It’s always movie night."

"That’s not true. Sometimes we watch Game of Thrones."

"The night is dark and full of terrors, yeah." Tatsuki tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. "Pride and Prejudice?"

"Only if it’s the Colin Firth one."

"Well, yeah. Obviously."

Ichigo nods. "I’ll go put on pants."

"Yeah. Go do that."

 

  
*.*

 

  
The rumors have always followed them around, the ones that say their dating. Seeing as neither Ichigo nor Tatsuki have ever wanted to date, the rumors were useful, so they encouraged them.

(It took a lot of explaining for Orihime to understand that when Tatsuki said 'boyfriend' she didn’t mean it, and Tatsuki doesn’t think she really understood anyway. It’s probably for the best she doesn’t come around much.)

They always were a little too tactile with each other. They always knew too much. Ichigo can always finish Tatsuki’s sentences, and Tatsuki usually knows what Ichigo’s going to say before he says it. She can clock his moods by a twitch in his mouth and he has yet to stumble across a secret he can’t pry out of her.

So yeah, the rumors have always followed them around.

Knowing the rumors is one thing, but watching them evolve is another. When Tatsuki’s approached in the girls’ locker room, she’s thrown off-guard.

"Congratulations on your engagement, Tatsuki-sempai." The girl— Kaori, Tatsuki thinks is her name— smiles brightly up at Tatsuki, all buckteeth and sunshine.

"Oh, thanks." Tatsuki blinks, bewildered. "Where did you hear about that?"

Kaori blinks.

"Did you not want people to know?" she asks, frowning. "Everybody’s been talking about it. Ever since you guys went to Kojima-sempai’s party last week."

Tatsuki remembers that party… sort of. Everything gets a little foggy after Mizuiro broke out the vodka.

"It isn’t that," she says, mind working furiously as she tries to recall what, exactly, they did that led to people thinking she’s going to marry the idiot that takes up half her bed. "I just… I didn’t realize we’d told people anything." Did they say something? It was probably Ichigo. He likes to mess with people.

"Oh! Well, everybody saw it coming, so it’s not really a surprise. We’re all really happy for you, is all." Kaori smiles. "You two seem perfect for each other."

Tatsuki nods her acceptance and finishes getting changed, doing her best to keep the laughter in her chest from bubbling up uncontrollably before she gets a chance to see him.

Ichigo’s just going to love this one.

 

 

*.*

 

  
"Engaged? Really?"

The look on Ichigo’s face (confusion, crossed with annoyance and maybe a little panic) merits a picture, and Tatsuki takes the opportunity to snap one.

"Yeah. Apparently we did something at Mizuiro’s that made everybody think we’re getting married."

Ichigo frowns, trying to remember something from that drunken fog of a night.

"I have no idea," he says after a moment.

Tatsuki shrugs.

"It doesn’t matter," she says. "I think it’s funny."

"Engaged. Wow." Ichigo hums. "Guess I’ll have to get you a ring. Any preferences?"

"White gold, without too many gems." Tatsuki gives him her best shit-eating grin. "I like to keep it simple."

He laughs.

"Yeah, totally. That’s why our record collection is by date, then alphabetically."

"Hey, Ichigo?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

 

  
*.*

 

  
Ichigo’s job is, at best, erratic. Unagiya— like most people in this town, apparently— is more than she seems, and more often than not Ichigo comes home with blood on his clothes.

He doesn’t kill people— of that, he’s quick to reassure her.

"I just clean up after," he says as she helps him get blood out from under his fingernails.

Which is… maybe just a little bit more gross, if a relief. She doesn’t know if she could handle a murderer best friend.

Still, it ends up leading her to have a talk with Unagiya about the uniform ("Just something that’ll hide the blood better, or at least something easier to wash.") and getting used to the smell of old blood, but it happens, because Ichigo’s her best friend and is better at paying the rent on time then she is.

(Unagiya pays very well for the jobs that lead to Ichigo coming home with blood in his hair. She also added a raincoat to the uniform per Tatsuki’s request.)

It’s an early Saturday morning when she wakes up to Ichigo carefully slipping into bed, hair still damp from the shower and smelling like her favorite coconut shampoo that he swears he doesn’t use.

"Morning," she murmurs, cracking open an eye to peer blearily up at him.

"Hey, Tatsuki. Cigarette?"

Tatsuki sighs and opens her eyes properly.

"Sure. What time is it?"

"A little after nine. You don’t work ’til noon, right?"

"Yeah." She takes the cigarette he offers her and breathes in deeply. "How was work?"

"Hard."

"Yeah."

Ichigo shifts slightly.

"So… I got you something."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You said white gold, right?"

Tatsuki blinks, opens her mouth to ask what the fuck he’s talking about, when he presses a small, black velvet box into her hand.

She stares dumbly.

"You—"

"Yep." Ichigo grins. "Figure you’d appreciate the joke."

Tatsuki struggles to sit up, wide awake now, cigarette hanging from her lip as she opens the box.

"This is a damn expensive joke," she remarks. "Are you sure you wanna waste your money like this?"

Ichigo shrugs.

"I’ve got money to burn— and anyway, I figure a girl always needs more diamonds. I hear that they’re your best friends." He pauses. "Do you like it?"

"It’s…" Beautiful. Perfect. Probably too expensive for a high school girl working a minimum wage job at a dojo to have, but then, Ichigo’s never been one for what’s appropriate. After all, he’s spent the last year platonically sleeping in her bed. "It’s the Evenstar."

"You didn’t think I’d get you a boring ring, would you? C’mon, we both know I’m the one with personality in this relationship."

Tatsuki snorts, smacking him lightly on the shoulder.

"Nerd," she says. "It’s awesome."

"You call me a nerd, but you realized what it was almost immediately, so who’s the real nerd, here?"

"You, for buying it." Tatsuki sets down the box and slips the ring on her finger. She extends her hand, twiddling her fingers to catch the light streaming in through the window. The pale blue gem winks back at her. "Thanks, Ichigo. It’s beautiful."

"Anything for my fiancé," he says, leaning forward to press a kiss to her temple like he has a thousand times before. "Now, do we want breakfast at home, or do we want to go try out that new cafe down on Third?"

Tatsuki shrugs, and he blows smoke in her face.

"You’re a dick," she says. "I’m breaking off this engagement."

"C’mon, Tatsuki, pick."

She rolls her eyes.

"Have you slept yet?"

"No."

"Then we’ll go out," she decides. "I can’t be having you cook when you’re liable to accidentally set the house on fire, can I?"

"That only happened once!"

"Once is enough. C’mon. I need to pretty myself up if I’m going to be showing off my new ring." She leers at him and he laughs.

"And here I thought you wouldn’t lose your head over a shiny rock," he says, shaking his head. "Alright. Cafe it is."

He gets back up, shimmying his pajama pants down as he goes. It’s weird; most girls in their grade would kill for the view Tatsuki has right now (she knows. Girls have asked her questions she wouldn’t answer if she was dating him), and while she appreciates it (and she does. Ichigo’s got a great ass), it’s just another morning for her, the same as it’s been since they were… twelve? Thirteen? Whenever they stopped caring about nudity with each other.

Stubbing out her cigarette, she looks back at the ring on her finger. It really is pretty— pretty enough that Tatsuki spares a thought for all the girls whose dreams will officially be dashed Monday morning. She spares a thought, but then her stomach growls and the thought is lost.

Time for breakfast.

 

  
*.*

 

  
Supposedly the cafe is a perfect recreation of some place right on the Champs-Élysées. Tatsuki isn’t so sure that a Parisian restaurant would serve Miso, but what does she know? Regardless, the food’s decent, and the coffee’s even better.

Their waitress is a classmate of theirs, a friend of Chizuru’s and a fellow lesbian, if Tatsuki’s memory serves her right. She takes one look at the ring on Tatsuki’s finger and grins.

"So the rumors were true," she says. "That’s awesome. Chizuru-chan owes me fifty bucks."

"There was a betting pool? Really?" Ichigo doesn’t seem surprised, exactly, just a little disappointed.

The girl shrugs.

"Well, yeah. You guys have been all shady about what’s been going on between you two for forever. Have you got a date set?"

"Uh, no. Not yet." Ichigo looks at Tatsuki. "I think we’re playing the long game, though."

The girl scoffs.

"From what I understand, you’ve been playing the long game for a while already," she says. "Congratulations. Do you mind if I tell Chizuru so I can collect?"

Tatsuki waves a hand.

"Sure thing. Do you want a picture as proof, or what?"

"Nah. If she doesn’t believe me, she’ll see you Monday, right?"

"Yeah."

The girl refills their coffee and slips into the back (likely to call Chizuru), leaving Ichigo and Tatsuki to… they don’t remember what they were talking about.

"You know, you haven’t actually properly proposed," she says after a minute. "At least, I don’t think you have."

"You’re right," Ichigo agrees. "Tatsuki, will you marry me?"

"Not with such a piss-poor delivery, I’m not."

"Damn, and I already changed my status on Facebook." Ichigo gives her a lazy grin. "Who’s reactions are you looking forward to?"

"I don’t know." Tatsuki grimaces. "But I know Orihime isn’t going to be happy."

Ichigo shrugs.

"She’s nice and all," he starts. "But I’m still kinda pissed at her."

"You’ve got reason to be," Tatsuki says. "I— she just stopped talking to me, but she hasn’t done anything—"

"By that logic, she hasn’t done anything to me, either," Ichigo says. "But she did. They all did."

And… yeah. He’s right.

"I don’t want to think about this," she says. "Let’s talk about something else."

"Okay." Ichigo’s lip curls into a smirk. "So, do we have any wedding destinations in mind?"

Tatsuki pretends to think about it.

"Somewhere sunny, I think," she says. "A beach where the water’s clear."

"The Caribbean, maybe."

"That’d be perfect."

"We can go for our birthday," Ichigo says. "Get married on the sixteenth so our birthdays could bookend our anniversary."

"Can you imagine the sorts of party we could throw?" Tatsuki laughs. "Three whole days of sex, drugs, and rock ’n’ roll."

"I suppose I’d be mixing the drinks, then."

"Well yeah. Nobody makes a Tequila Sunrise like you."

"That’s because I put acid in mine. Adds flavor."

"Sure it does."

Ichigo smiles.

"Well, at the very least, start looking at tickets," he says. "I’ve got more than enough money in the bank to cover a few days drinking on a beach."

"For when?"

"This year?"

"Why not?" Ichigo leans back in his chair, spine cracking as he stretches. "I don’t know about you, but I sure could use a vacation."

And Tatsuki concedes because, point.

"An all-expense paid trip to an island getaway," she muses, nibbling at a croissant. "I think I’ll like being married to you."

"You bet your ass you will."


	2. Chapter 2

Monday is… hilarious. To Ichigo, anyway.

 

Tatsuki, once Chizuru demands to see the ring, is crowded into a corner by their female classmates, all clamoring to get a look and get  _ answers _ , damn it,  _ why haven’t you guys always kept it so quiet? _

 

Tatsuki does her best, considering the circumstances, and the bullshit coming out of her mouth has Ichigo chuckling quietly from across the room.

 

"You know, I never actually thought you two would do it."

 

Ichigo looks up to see Mizuiro standing beside him, watching the brewing shitstorm with his usual detached interest.

 

"Why not?"

 

Mizuiro shrugs.

 

"You two have got 'lone wolf' written all over you," he says. "I don’t know. You guys always seemed more like friends to me— but I guess that’s why you guys always seemed so perfect for each other."

 

Ichigo has to hand it to the guy, he’s observant.

 

"We are friends," he says, crossing his arms. "This is how we get our kicks, is all."

 

Mizuiro arches an eyebrow.

 

"By faking an engagement?"

 

"By encouraging the rumors." Ichigo smiles. "We’ve always known what people think of us, and we’ve never been that. The assumptions help, though, because then she doesn’t have creeps breathing down her neck— because, you know, I’m the scary, delinquent boyfriend— and the girls keep away from me— because she’s the scary, possessive, crazy bitch. It works out for us."

 

"Huh. I guess. Still." The dark-haired boy glances at Tatsuki, who’s telling the girls about their planned island getaway. "I don’t think plain old friends usually swap a place to live with a three thousand dollar engagement ring."

 

"We’re intense."

 

"Method-acting at its finest," Mizuiro agrees. "I hope I’m getting an invite to the wedding."

 

"We’re not actually getting married, Mizuiro."

 

"Maybe not, but I want to go to the islands. The women are beautiful, I heard."

 

Ichigo rolls his eyes.

 

"Yeah, okay. I think we can manage that." The words aren’t out of his mouth when a wail makes everyone go still. 

 

Orihime, sandwiched between Ishida and Chado in the doorway, is staring at Tatsuki, who has her hand extended so the girls can get a look and give an unwanted opinion. Her eyes are wide, and wet, and before anyone— Ichigo, Tatsuki, anybody— can say a word, she bolts out of the classroom.

 

"Shit," Ichigo murmurs, moving to get up.

 

Tatsuki shoots him a look. She’s got this— Ichigo need not interfere.

 

He arches an eyebrow.  _ Are you sure? _

 

Her look doesn’t waver. He sits back down.

 

"That’s going to end very poorly," Mizuiro remarks.

 

Ichigo sighs.

 

"Yeah. It is."

  
  


*.*

  
  


Tatsuki doesn’t come back to the classroom. Neither does Orihime.

 

"I think we ought to go look for them," Chado murmurs from his seat.

 

Ichigo nods.

 

"At break."

 

Chado grunts and goes quiet.

 

The class feels like it’ll never end, but the moment it does, Ichigo’s out of his seat.

 

"They’ll probably be in the girls’ room," Ichigo says as Ishida and Chado catch up to him.

 

"How do you know?"

 

"That’s where girl drama happens— don’t you know anything, Ishida?" Ichigo stops right as a girl slips out of the bathroom. The sound of crying can be heard before the door shuts behind her.

 

"Excuse me— are Inoue and Arisawa in there?"

 

The girl shakes her head.

 

"Only Inoue-sempai. Arisawa-sempai went home. She wasn’t feeling well."

 

Growling, Ishida shoulders the girl aside and walks into the restroom. Ichigo grimaces.

 

"Thanks. Sorry about— him."

 

The girl shrugs.

 

"Everybody knows Ishida-sempai’s a bitch," she says. "I hope Arisawa-sempai’s okay. She looked sad."

 

"We’ll find out," Ichigo mutters. Aloud, he says, "Chado, I’m heading home— to Tatsuki’s. Make sure Ishida doesn’t embarrass himself."

 

"Of course."

 

Ichigo nods, shoulders his bag, and doesn’t start running until he’s out of the building.

 

And people say he has no impulse control.

  
  


*.*

  
  


Tatsuki is in their room when he gets home, curled up on her side with her back to the door. She’s still in her uniform, arms wrapped around shoulders as if to lessen the shake.

 

She’s crying. Fuck, she’s crying.

 

Sighing to himself, Ichigo drops his bag and pulls off his jacket, sliding onto the bed beside her to wrap an arm around her.

 

"What happened?"

 

Tatsuki sniffs.

 

"Nothing I wasn’t expecting," she admits. "Just an… affirmation of what I already knew."

 

"Was it about the ring?"

 

"Sort of. It started it." Tatsuki sighs. "It turned into 'well, you’ve never really been my friend. A real friend would back off' and 'you don’t understand what we’ve been through' and like, yeah, she’s right, but why do I have to back off from being your friend? You’re my friend."

 

Ichigo thinks about it.

 

"Maybe I should just fuck her," he says. "I mean, this hero worship shit needs to go. Maybe if I break her heart she’ll leave me alone."

 

"She loves you."

 

"She’s got a funny way of showing it, then. I mean, most people would follow the people they love through hell and high water. That’s what I did."

 

Tatsuki huffs a laugh.

 

"Yeah. It’s a shame Rukia never got the message."

 

"Yeah, well, you can’t win 'em all." Ichigo brushes back her hair and fits his chin in the space between her neck and shoulder. "And anyway, the more I think on it, the more I think I didn’t love her like that. Did you know there are different kinds of love?"

 

"Oh?"

 

"Yeah. I got bored and started reading up on the Greeks."

 

Tatsuki huffs a laugh, wiping at her eyes with a sleeve. "No, you reread the Percy Jackson series."

 

"Yeah, but I started reading other stuff, too." Ichigo rolls them both over, letting her rest half on him, half on the bed. "Wanna hear about it?"

 

"… Sure."

 

"Cool, because I was gonna tell you about them anyway." Ichigo runs a hand through her hair absently. "So there’s Eros, which is like, sexy love. It’s the kind of desire that makes you lose your mind for another person. I thought I had that with Rukia, but now I don’t think I did. I don’t think I’ve ever had it with anyone."

 

Tatsuki can see that. She doesn’t think she’s ever had it, either.

 

"Then there’s Philia, which is friend love. It’s what I have— had— with Chado, and maybe Ishida."

 

"And me?"

 

"We’ll get to you, promise." Ichigo shifts. "Then there’s Ludus— frivolous love. It’s defined as the love between children and young lovers. It’s kind of a stepping stone— we probably had it, when we first became friends. It’s also the kind of love that comes from… dancing. Messing around with your friends. Having a good time with good people."

 

"We dance. We dance all the time." To his mother’s record collection. To Led Zeppelin and Patti Smith and Chris LeDoux and Elvis Presley.

 

"Yeah, we do." Ichigo smiles. "So I guess we still have a  _ frisson _ of Ludus in our lives, huh?"

 

"Who the fuck uses words like ' _ frisson _ ' in casual conversation?"

 

"I the fuck do." Ichigo hums. "Anyway, after Ludus there’s Agape, which is selfless love. Family tends to fall under that category, but it can encompass every living being if you want it to. Do you remember that shopkeeper I was friends with?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Well, under most circumstances, he’s not the kind of man I want in my life. He was… he was a lot of things, bad things. A baby killer and a monster. But… I still love him, despite that."

 

"Even now?"

 

"Even now." Ichigo sighs. "Part of Agape is accepting a person as they are, regardless of faults. He’s probably the only person in the whole mess that is my life that hasn’t betrayed me, because… that’s just a part of who he is.

 

"Anyway, after Agape, there’s Pragma— that’s what we have now." He sighs. "It’s a love that comes from understanding and patience. People tend to associate it with old married couples— but I think it’ll work for us too. I mean, we’ve known each other how long now?"

 

"Nearly all our lives."

 

"Exactly. So yeah, I think Pragma works for us. I mean, you put up with my stupid ass everyday, right? That takes a lot of patience."

 

"Damn right it does." Tatsuki shifts, knee coming perilously close to his groin as she sits up. "You remember when we were little, and I’d sneak into your house at night?"

 

"Kaa-san always left the back door open because she knew you’d come."

 

"Yeah." Tatsuki sighs. "Your Mom was the best."

 

"She was."

 

"I used to slip inside and go to your room every night," she says. "And make you tell me stories until I fell asleep."

 

"Your parents were going through their divorce, if I remember right." Ichigo pauses. "You cried yourself to sleep."

 

"And you kissed me until I stopped."

 

"I thought they’d make you feel better." Ichigo isn’t embarrassed. "And they did, didn’t they?"

 

"Yeah, they did."

 

Ichigo sighs and sits up, opening his arms.

 

"I have more on standby if you need them," he says. "Yuzu says my kisses are the best bandaids."

 

Tatsuki smiles. Her eyes are still wet, but she smiles.

 

"Well, she’s the expert," she agrees. "I think I’ll take a few."

 

"And dinner?" Ichigo asks as she tucks herself into his lap. "I’ve got a hankering for something… beef."

 

"If you make curry I might be willing to agree."

 

"I’m pretty sure that’s blasphemous," Ichigo remarks. "Okay. Beef curry. I’ll get on that.”

 

“In a minute. I’m comfortable.”

 

“Yeah. Okay.” He bends down and presses a kiss to her forehead. “Any better?”

 

“... I could use another one.”

 

Ichigo laughs and obeys, and obeys again when she asks once more, twice more, thrice more.

 

He never gets around to making dinner.

  
  


*.*

  
  


“So, I was looking into countries that would let us marry at seventeen.”

 

“Oh, cool.” Ichigo blinks. “Wait, you’re seriously looking into it?”

 

Tatsuki shrugs.

 

“I was bored, you know how I get—”

 

“You’re vengeful.”

 

“Not just that.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Tax purposes.”

 

Ichigo pauses thoughtfully.

 

“That’s a good reason,” he agrees. “Go on.”

 

Tatsuki shifts closer, balancing her laptop on her knees so he can see the screen.

 

“Saint Kitts and Nevis is in the West Indies,” she says. “Sunny, warm, beautiful— and the age of consent is sixteen.”

 

“You get your tropical wedding and the right to spend my hard-earned body disposal money,” Ichigo says, nodding. “I can dig it.”

 

“Oh, shut up. I love you for more than your money.” She elbows him hard enough to make him grunt before continuing.

 

“So, it’s a twenty-six hour flight altogether out of Osaka, with two stops along the way. If we go say, July tenth, come back on the twenty-second? We get a few days to enjoy the sights, celebrate our birthdays, get married, and head back.”

 

“Mizuiro wants to come,” Ichigo says. “He said so a few weeks ago, when you were talking plans. It’ll be quicker than he expected, though. I think he had it in his head we were going to wait for graduation.”

 

“Well, we don’t actually have to get married,” Tatsuki says. “I was just looking.”

 

“Yeah. We’ll figure it out when we get there.” Ichigo sits back. “So, you have anyone in mind to be your bridesmaid?”

 

“I don’t even know. Could I borrow one of your sisters?”

 

“Yuzu would love it,” he says. “Karin won’t be around. She’s spending the summer in the Seireitei, to learn more about Shiba Clan history.” There’s something bitter about the way he says it that tells Tatsuki not to ask— not that she would. It’ll only make her angry, and she knows Ichigo wouldn’t appreciate her punching his sister.

 

“Maybe we should take Keigo along, too,” she says. “And Chizuru and her girlfriend.”

 

“Does she have a girlfriend?”

 

“No idea. I’ll ask tomorrow.”

 

“Alright. Sounds like a plan.”

 

“Tell Yuzu when she comes around tomorrow?”

 

“Yeah. Take my card and book tickets.”

 

“Have you got the cash for it?”

  
“For six people to take an all-expenses paid trip to the islands? Yeah, I think I’ll be fine.”


	3. Chapter 3

Yuzu, of course, is thrilled.

 

“I knew it!” she says into his chest while she hugs him. “Oh, I’m so happy for you, Ichi-nii! And Tatsuki-chan— did you buy her a ring? Is it nice? Why didn’t you  _ tell _ me you were engaged?”

 

“I— Yuzu, you know how me and Tatsuki are. We didn’t think we’d actually be getting married. We’re still not sure.”

 

Yuzu pulls away to smack him on the shoulder.

 

“You’re an idiot, nii-san” she says. “You two are perfect each other. It’s obvious. Even if you didn’t get married, you two love each other more than anything else in the  _ world.” _

 

“Are we?” Ichigo asks blankly. “I mean, I love her, but I don’t think we’re  _ in _ love, or anything.”

 

“Well, no, but I don’t think either of you could be in love like that.” Something in Yuzu’s expression shifts. The expression is a hard sort of thoughtful, and makes her look so much like their mother. “Ichi-nii, you don’t love like other people.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You love people. You love me, and Karin-chan, and tou-san, but I don’t think you’ve ever been in love.”

 

“So?”

 

“You’ve never even had a crush.”

 

“Rukia doesn’t count?”

 

Yuzu makes a face.

 

“Don’t even talk about her,” she says. “You know she came to visit last week? I couldn’t see her, but she went and hung out with Karin-chan for hours in our room— but that’s not the point.

 

“Rukia-san wasn’t a crush, I don’t think. I think you wanted to like her like that, but… Ichi-nii, I don’t know how to say it. You just don’t seem like you’re equipped for romance.”

 

Ichigo blinks.

 

“Huh,” he says. “Not even a little?”

 

“Nope.” Yuzu’s lips pop with the word. “And Tatsuki-san isn’t, either. But you two can take care of each other just fine, and that’s all I ask.” She smiles. “You couldn’t have picked a better person to attach yourself to. Have you had sex yet?”

 

“And this conversation is over,” Ichigo says quickly. “I’m not talking about my sex life with you, Yuzu, I’m just not.”

 

“Come on! We can swap stories.”

 

“Swapping stories implies that you have them in the first place, and I don’t want to know that either.” Ichigo drops a kiss on her cheek. “It was nice to see you, I’m happy you’re happy, I’ll see you Friday for dinner. Okay?”

 

“Sure thing, nii-san.” Yuzu hugs him tightly. “I’m really happy for you two. Congratulations.”

 

“Thanks, Yuzu.”

  
  


*.*

  
  


“So, I think we should get married.”

 

Tatsuki doesn’t even roll over to look at him, halfway to sleep and willing herself to cross the finish line.

 

“I think you’re a little late on the uptake, Ichigo,” she mumbles into her arm. “But please, go on.”

 

“There’s nothing else,” Ichigo says. “I just think it’s a good idea.”

 

“Okay. Can I sleep now?”

 

“Yeah, you can sleep now.” Ichigo flicks off the light and rolls over, looping an arm over her shoulders and settling himself against her back. She relaxes into the touch, pressing warmly against him, and… yeah. Ichigo’s sure he isn’t in love, but he’s also sure he doesn’t want moments like this to ever stop being a part of his life.

 

Maybe Yuzu was on to something.

  
  


*.*

  
  


Ichigo knows Yuzu won’t say anything, but that’s because Yuzu is the only one besides Tatsuki who understands all the feelings and reasons that led to his moving out in the first place.

 

Keigo and Mizuiro are not aware of these things, though he has the sneaking suspicion that they’ve already had a talking to by the time he gets to them.

 

“So, summer break,” he starts. “I’ve got tickets to a tropical island. Me, Tatsuki, Yuzu, you guys, and Chizuru. You in?”

 

“‘Course,” Mizuiro says with an easy nod. “I said I wanted in a month ago.”

 

“Definitely, man,” Keigo adds, nodding. “Think of all those pretty island girls… well, not you. They’re not for you.”

 

“They’re not,” Ichigo agrees. “But I’m sure you’ll appreciate them enough for the both of us.” He pushes himself out of the desk. “But hey— keep it to yourselves?”

 

“Yeah, we know. Secret tropical getaway is secret.” Keigo gives him a thumbs up. “Got it.”

 

Ichigo nods. Well, now that that’s over with, he supposes he ought to go save Tatsuki from Chizuru’s friends— they’re talking honeymoon spots, and that’s just… actually, that’s a good idea.

 

Ichigo will look into that.

  
  


*.*

  
  


“Are you and Arisawa actually getting married?”

 

Ichigo looks up to find Ishida standing awkwardly over him, clutching his bento to his chest like it’s the only thing keeping him from punching Ichigo in the face.

 

“... Yes? Why?”

 

“It’s stupid to get married so young,” Ishida says. “Especially when there’s a beautiful girl who’s been waiting for you for as long as you’ve known her. Longer, even.”

 

Ichigo huffs. Ishida’s a jealous one, but good hearted. He thinks he’s doing what’s right by Orihime, and while Ichigo can appreciate that, he doesn’t appreciate the guilt trip.

 

“Inoue doesn’t love me, you complete bastard,” Ichigo says flatly. “She has been  _ traumatized.  _ You know I was there when her brother died? She has fucking attached herself to this idea of me that she made up based solely on the fact that I was nice to her.  _ Once. _ Don’t get me wrong, she’s a nice person, I guess— but seriously, Ishida? I don’t want any part of her. I just don’t.”

 

“But—”

 

“But nothing. She’s not getting the message, she’s being mean to Tatsuki—” and she is. Ichigo’s had to handle more tears from the girl than he’s seen since her father left. “— And if she keeps going the way she’s going, I will  _ destroy  _ her. Don’t think I won’t. She’s hurting my friend. Two of them, if I count you.” Ichigo’s not sure he still does, but for the sake of argument, he will.

 

Ishida’s eyes widen in shock, then harden.

 

“I don’t like what you’re implying.”

 

“I’m not implying shit. You’ve got a crush, and you aren’t doing shit about it. She has a crush, and despite several obvious rejections and a goddamn engagement, she hasn’t let up. So I’m giving fair warning. If she keeps this behavior up, I will do something about it, and it won’t be pretty.”

 

“You won’t kill her.”

 

“I don’t kill people.”

 

Ishida looks like he doesn’t believe him. This isn’t surprising— Ichigo knows the rumors. Still, the boy takes the hint and leaves him, which is a good thing, because that’s the moment Tatsuki decides to reappear from the bathroom.

 

“What was all that about?” she asks as she settles in next to him.

 

“High school bullshit.” Ichigo says, shaking his head. “You know, considering we’re getting married before even graduating, I think we’re probably the only people in this entire goddamn school that have their shit together.”

 

“We’re just mature for our age,” Tatsuki says, leaning into his side. “So, you gotta do anything about this high school bullshit?”

 

“I’m thinking I might have to.”

 

“What are you going to do?”

 

Ichigo thinks about it.

 

“I think I’m going to fuck Orihime.”

 

Tatsuki hums.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Are you jealous?”

 

“No.” She thinks about it. “I mean, maybe a little. I don’t like the idea of her having a part of you, you know? You’re mine.”

 

Well, Ichigo thinks, that’s a way to put it. He doesn’t want to give a piece of himself away, not to a silly girl who’s caught up in a teenaged crush.

 

“I was planning on scaring her with it, just a little bit,” he says. “I don’t think I’d go all the way— I was thinking more of a roughing up, something concrete that tells her I’m not this sweet hero guy she seems to think I am.”

 

“You’re planning to scare her away with rough sex?”

 

“... I guess?”

 

“How rough?”

 

“I—”

 

“Because I love rough sex,” Tatsuki interrupts. “And I would very much like to have it. If you’re into that, I won’t have to look as far as I thought I would, what with this engagement thing.”

 

Neither of them are virgins. Ichigo’s taken a turn with a good amount of shinigami, and Tatsuki’s had her fun with a few boys in her own time. The thought still manages to annoy him, though. Tatsuki’s his best friend. No one’s allowed to touch her. At the same time...

 

“You wanna have sex with me?” Because that’s the more important thing.

 

Tatsuki shrugs.

 

“I wouldn’t mind,” she says. “I mean, we do everything else, right? All that couple shit.”

 

And… that’s true. Somehow, sex never popped into Ichigo’s head as a thing to do, though.

 

He hums.

 

“Think it’ll be any good?” he asks.

 

“Oh, I’m sure it’ll be terrible,” she says. “But your dick’s decent and you’ve got a nice butt, so I’m sure we could figure something out.”

 

“Gee, thanks.”

 

“Oh, don’t be offended. I doubt anyone’s actually good the first time they’re with somebody. Personally, I don’t think I’ll be able to deep throat you. Not without practice, anyway.” Tatsuki flashes him a crooked, easy smile. “So, what do you say?”

 

“I— yeah, okay, why not.” Ichigo pauses. “So, should I fuck Orihime?”

 

“No. Your plan’s a little rapey.”

 

“She’d totally spread for me.”

 

“She would. But fucking her to prove what a dick you are is not the way to go, I feel.” Tatsuki pauses. “Fucking me in the girls’ room for her to walk in on, though…”

 

“You’ve got a public sex thing, don’t you?”

 

“Maybe just a little.”

  
“... Fine.”


	4. Chapter 4

Sex with Tatsuki is… pretty great. Even if they do get interrupted by Orihime’s shrill screams. The suspension is worth it, because what does a suspension mean? Three days of really, really good sex. Five, if he includes the weekend. Which he is.

 

Ichigo is excited. He’s well and truly excited.

  
  


*.*

  
  


The knock on the door is a surprise during Sunday morning breakfast. Ichigo hasn’t bothered to put on clothes at all since they got home from school Tuesday, so it’s Tatsuki that has to answer the door, slightly better prepared in an old sleep shirt of his.

 

“We were wondering if you were planning to resurface for school tomorrow,” Mizuiro says cheerfully, stepping inside and toeing off his shoes. “You’re glowing, so I imagine it might be a tough decision on your part, Tatsuki-chan.”

 

“Holy shit, Ichigo, you didn’t tell me you were that lucky!”

 

For a moment, Tatsuki thinks Keigo’s talking about her, and turns to slap him, but then she catches sight of where he’s looking— at Ichigo, who hasn’t bothered to move at all save to pour himself another glass of orange juice.

 

Well, it’s his house too. She can’t dictate whether or not he has to wear clothes in front of guests.

 

“Um, thanks?” Ichigo shifts and crosses his legs in the other direction. “What are you guys doing here?”

 

“Well, we were bored, mostly,” Mizuiro says, taking a seat at the table. “And we figured you two weren’t doing anything.”

 

“Besides each other, anyway.” Keigo waggles his eyebrows at Ichigo, and Tatsuki does slap him, this time.

 

“You’re welcome to breakfast,” she says primly, turning to Mizuiro. “I’m going to bring Ichigo pants.”

 

“I appreciate that,” Ichigo says. “I’m not really feeling the whole getting up thing right now.”

 

Tatsuki snorts.

 

“That’s just because of the bruising,” she says. “You should have told me to be gentle.”

 

“I didn’t want you to be.”

 

“Well, that’s more than I ever expected to learn,” a voice says cheerfully from the door. “Hello, Tatsuki-chan, Ichi-nii.”

 

Ichigo is suddenly no longer in his chair. No, he’s halfway up the steps, a newspaper pinned to the small of his back with one his hands.

 

“Yuzu-chan, how are you?” Tatsuki grins. “I haven’t seen him move so fast in a long time.”

 

“Oh, onii-chan’s a bashful sort, if you know what buttons to push,” Yuzu says, shutting the door behind her. “It’s fun to tease him.”

 

Tatsuki grins.

 

“Please, tell me more.”

  
  


*.*

  
  


“Mail for you, Chizuru.”

 

Chizuru blinks at the envelope that lands on her lap. Fancy, gold-gilded paper, professional printing… this is a wedding invitation, she’s sure of it.

 

Tearing open the envelope, she’s proven correct when a silver card bearing her name invites her to the union of one Kurosaki Ichigo to his  _ telsu _ Arisawa Tatsuki (whatever that meant), which will be taking place on a tropical island far, far away.

 

A plane ticket is pinned to the back. Two, actually, because they’ve given her a plus one.

 

Fuck yeah.

  
  


*.*

  
  


Ichigo’s sort of in shock when they actually get on the plane. He’s never been further than Osaka before, and now he, Tatsuki, and their small wedding party are _ leaving _ the  _ country. _ That’s… that’s just wild.

 

Tatsuki seems to sense his nervousness, hand snaking between them to squeeze his hand.

 

“We’ve got ten days of drinking, fucking, eating, and doing all the bullshit tourists do,” she says. “And we’re getting married somewhere in the middle of that.”

 

“Yeah. I know. I’m excited, just…” he puts on his best serious face. “I take one more step, and I’ll be the farthest away from home I’ve ever been.”

 

Tatsuki rolls her eyes.

 

“You’re a goddamn nerd,” she says. “I think you might be my favorite person in the world.”

 

“You’re the closest I’ve ever come to loving someone,” he answers. “It’s… we’re insane for doing this, you realize?”

 

“Obviously. But that’s what makes us, you know, us.”

 

And, well, that’s really the whole point.

  
  


*.*

  
  


Tatsuki doesn’t wear white to their wedding, which is fine, because Ichigo doesn’t wear a suit. No, she and Yuzu go shopping as soon as they get there, and he, Chizuru, her girlfriend, and the boys go drinking. They’re pretty trashed by the time the girls get back and get started.

 

Sex on the beach is not as good as the movies make it seem. Sand? It gets  _ everywhere.  _ Sex in a hot tub, on the other hand…

 

Getting married was the best idea Ichigo’s ever had.

 

They do touristy stuff, too, while they’re there. Go swimming in the ocean and look at pretty fish, that sort of thing. Mostly, though, Ichigo and Tatsuki enjoy the good weather and watch Mizuiro watch Yuzu with something close to adoration.

 

Ichigo must be drunk not to be bothered by that, but here he is, no giving a shit and just being happy. He hasn’t felt like this in a good, long while.

 

It’s nice.

 

Their wedding, as planned, is the day after Ichigo’s birthday and the day before Tatsuki’s. Tatsuki doesn’t wear white. Instead, she wears a brightly colored, flower patterned wrap, her hair pulled back in a braid that swings when she walks. Ichigo, who had long since accepted that Yuzu was going to dress him for the big day, is in a linen tunic-thing, he doesn’t know what, and a pair of plain, thin jeans. They’re both barefoot, toes curling in the sand, and the sun is just about to set, and she’s beautiful, she’s just… wow. Ichigo’s pretty damn lucky that she wants to deal with his stupid face for the rest of her life.

 

She’s his best friend, and after a few words in a foreign language, they’re married, just like that.

  
  


*.*

  
  


“You’re not coming back with us?” Chizuru sounds surprised. “What— oh. Your honeymoon.”

 

Ichigo glances at Tatsuki, who smiles and shrugs.

 

“Maybe,” she says. “We’re thinking about doing a bit of a world tour, you know. See what life has to offer.”

 

“So, you’re not planning on finishing school?” Mizuiro asks. Yuzu looks disapproving where she stands close beside him, too close to be less than… Ichigo doesn’t want to think about that.

 

“We’ll finish, probably,” Tatsuki says. “Just, maybe not in Karakura. Maybe America?”

 

“No, London— we’ve got to see if we can find ourselves a man in a blue box.”

 

Tatsuki clicks her tongue in agreement.

 

“Yeah, that.” She grins. “Don’t worry— we’ll write.”

 

“I suppose as long as you send me photos, I don’t have to tell tou-san anything important,” Yuzu muses. “But that depends on how regularly I get emails.”

 

“Every day, if you want,” Ichigo promises, holding out his arms for a hug.

 

Yuzu huffs, rolling her eyes exaggeratedly as she lets him pull her into his chest. “I guess it’s okay, then.”

 

The people returning to Karakura are called to board, and with a final round of hugs and kisses, Ichigo and Tatsuki wave them goodbye. 

 

Once they’re out of sight, Tatsuki turns to Ichigo.

 

“So,” she says, running her fingertips along the white gold band resting on his ring finger. “Where to first?”

 

Ichigo grins.

  
“How’s Paris sound?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they live happily ever after avoiding Karakura and having three ways with exotic men and women across the globe. And no one ever finds them except for when they invite certain people to spend a weekend with them in a beautiful country somewhere. :)

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like there was a lot of potential in their relationship, but then Kubo forgot non-shinigami were cool too.
> 
> Follow me @ straight-outta-hobbiton.tumblr. com if you feel like it.


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